


Closure

by Kittyboo98



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, Ghost!Erwin, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Manga Spoilers, Requited Unrequited Love, ghost!levi, levi kept his promise, manga spoilers post chapter 84 as well, mentions of depression, post chapter 102
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 16:25:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14024109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyboo98/pseuds/Kittyboo98
Summary: “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”-Kahlil Gibran





	Closure

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished my canon ghost!Eruri fic.  
> It took me a little over a month because it was hard for me to write emotionally. I’ve always struggled a bit with canon. I got the post 102 feels and I asked myself what would happen if Eruri met again in the afterlife, never having confessed their love while living. Because, you know, I like to torture my feels :( I made the ending happy at least because I needed that, damn it!

 

* * *

Levi awoke to near darkness. He remained still and silent as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings. A faint glow illuminated the room as moonlight filtered in through a lone window. After a series of several blinks, his vision became clear. He recognized the room as his former living quarters that had been abandoned when himself and the remaining members of the Survey Corps had left for their expedition across the sea.

He had absolutely no idea as to how he had arrived back here. His memories seemed to be a jumbled mess of hazy images that clumsily bounced around in his mind. The more current ones appeared to be from the last battle he fought before waking up in this place. Levi looked himself over and noticed that he had remained in uniform, cape draped over his shoulders. Upon closer inspection both pieces of his attire were completely free of tears despite the fact that he had recently been through a brutal altercation with the Beast Titan.

This confused Levi because he recalled the moment he had slashed through his cape to separate it from his body after the disgusting ape grasped the fabric in its filthy fist. He’d be damned if that son of a bitch choked him to death before he fulfilled his duty and avenged the lives lost during the battle in Shiganshina, and the promise he had made on the rooftop to Erwin as he had watched the life fade from his broken body.

Levi had seen red at that point for being forced to abandon the item that displayed the wings which had represented all that he had fought for. He had made sure that bastard paid for what he had done and still kept his promise to Erwin, wings or not.

So many unanswered questions buzzed inside his brain as he tried to assess his current predicament. ‘Was it a dream? A hallucination from lack of sleep?’ The latter was certainly plausible since nightmares and feelings of guilt had stolen his sleep over the last four years. Levi had decided that lying there and doing nothing would get him nowhere. He sat up slowly and waited a few moments to get his bearings before he stood up from the bed. Fear prickled the hairs on the back of his neck as he cautiously stepped out of the bedroom and into his office.

* * *

 

Levi walked to the door and turned the knob slowly. He peered out into the dimly lit hallway. There were no signs of life other than the sliver of light that came from under the door of the Commander’s office. Levi swallowed thickly and exited the room.

He moved down the hall towards the light cautious and silent, not knowing what to expect. Levi’s heart pounded as he approached the office door. Perhaps Hange could tell him what the fuck was going on. He turned the knob without bothering to knock. His breath hitched in his throat after he stepped over the threshold and into the room. Feelings of panic and grief struck him all at once as he locked eyes with the figure seated behind the desk.

“Erwin?” Levi called out weakly.

Erwin’s eyes lit up when he met his gaze but Levi swore that he had glimpsed a flicker of sadness as well.

“Please come sit with me Levi, I’ve been waiting for you.” Erwin greeted as he gestured to the seat in front of his desk.

Levi remained frozen in place, happy that he had finally reunited with the one man he had yearned to see again but at the same time guilt and regret tugged at his heart over his past decisions.

Levi seated himself and silently studied the Commander. Erwin looked almost exactly how Levi had remembered him in quieter times. Same perfect blonde hair, same unreadable expression and the same enchanting blue eyes that seemed to peer into his soul.

Something was off though, something was missing. Levi thought for a moment and realized that the real problem was that something _wasn’t_ missing. The Erwin in front of him still had both of his arms. He would never forget the days he had spent by Erwin’s bedside as the man drifted in and out of consciousness after his right arm had been taken by a titan.

‘ _This must be some kind of fucked up dream_ ’ he thought to himself as he tried to make sense out of this odd situation. He tried to think of something, anything, to say but his thoughts were all tangled in his weary mind.

Erwin poured a cup of tea and set it in front of Levi. “It’s good to see you again, Levi, it’s been a long time.” He said with a gentle smile.

“Almost five fucking years.” Levi replied as he stared down into the cup.

“I’m guessing a lot has changed in those five years.” Erwin replied as he watched Levi intently. “I see the uniforms have been upgraded, I like it.”

Levi scowled. “I wouldn’t call it an upgrade. Do you know how fucking inconvenient this thing is when you need to take a piss?” He muttered.

Erwin chuckled. “I’m sure Hange had a great time trying to get you to wear it. You always were a stubborn one.”

“It was a fucking waste of funding, there was nothing wrong with the old uniform. They even did away with the capes!” Levi fumed.

“Ah, so that was how Hange bribed you into it.”

“It was a compromise, smartass.” Levi huffed. “Why are you here, Erwin? You said you were waiting for me. I’m sure it wasn’t to discuss fucking uniforms?,” Levi asked.

Erwin sighed. “I was going to get to that. I didn’t want to upset you.” He explained.

“What are you talking about? This is just some shitty dream. If you’re gonna say something, say it.” Levi replied in a softer tone.

Erwin paused for a moment before he spoke again. “What do you remember before coming here?” Erwin asked, a look of concern washed over his face as he focused his attention on Levi.

“Why the hell does it matter?” Levi asked as he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Please just humor me for a moment, Levi.” Erwin urged gently.

“I took down the Beast Titan.” Levi reached into the collar of his uniform and placed the wings of freedom that he had cut from Erwin’s jacket on the desk. “I kept my promise.”

“Are you sure that’s all you remember?” Erwin asked as he looked at Levi directly.

Levi began to grow impatient. “Is there a point to this? All you’ve done is asked me questions without giving me any damn answers.” He accused while he played with the edge of his cape.

“I just thought you might have forgotten something.” Erwin prodded.

Levi grit his teeth and closed his eyes. He replayed the events prior to his arrival one last time in his mind. The battle with the Beast Titan, the wet sound of metal as it sliced flesh. The sheer adrenaline that strummed through his body as he spun through the air.

Then, he remembered. The screams of victory from his comrades had turned to surprise and anguish. How his lungs burned as he struggled to breathe and his heartbeat slowed until the world faded to black. He opened his eyes and asked the first question that popped into his mind.

* * *

 

“I’m not dreaming? I’m... dead?” Levi asked in uncertainty.

Erwin looked at Levi and tried to hide the pain in his eyes. He had dreaded this from the moment the man had walked through the door. Erwin nodded in confirmation. “I’m sorry, Levi. You had to make the realization on your own.”

Levi felt a mixture of guilt and sorrow settle heavily in his chest. He looked up at his Commander. “You don’t need to apologize, I’m the one who is sorry, Erwin.”

“For what, Levi?” Erwin asked. The wounded look on Levi’s face almost made him regret it.

“For failing to save you, for failing to save humanity.” Levi replied. The gray eyes that once burned with passion and determination were now empty and dull.

“You didn’t fail me or humanity, Levi.”  
Erwin felt suffocated from the weight of the guilt that seemed to fill the room. Both Levi’s and his own. “You kept your vow and you defeated the Beast Titan. Humanity had a chance to prevail because of you. I am the one who has failed.”

“Failed at what? You were the reason we got as far as we did. You sacrificed yourself to buy us a chance at freedom. How the hell is that failing?” Levi asked.

“I promised my soldiers freedom and all I gave them in return was death.”  
Erwin replied. “I felt more like an executioner than a savior.”

Levi felt a lump form in his throat. Erwin always blamed himself for every single death that happened under his command. Yet the government painted Erwin as some kind of heartless demon whom cared nothing for the lives of the soldiers who followed him.

Those government pigs weren’t there to watch as the guilt slowly ate away at his Commander. They weren’t there when Erwin’s depression had gotten so severe that on some mornings, Levi had to coax him out of bed.

“Stop fucking blaming yourself, Erwin. If you hadn’t taken any chances we’d still be hiding behind those damn walls being picked off like sheep by the interior squad.” Levi clenched his fist as he answered. “You were the best Commander the corps ever had.”

Erwin shook his head. “I wasn’t special, Levi. I told you I could easily be replaced.”

“The Corps needed you, Erwin.” Levi confessed. “I knew that and I betrayed them for my own selfish reasons.” He would never forget the look on Hange’s face that day.

“I entrusted you with the serum because I knew you would make the right decision when the time came, Levi. No matter how difficult it was.” Erwin said sincerely.

“I was selfish, Erwin. I couldn’t bear to drag you back into that hell and watch you become a demon.” Levi felt as if his heart was in a vice as he finally choked out the truth. “I decided to set you free and preserve your humanity. I wanted you to finally be at peace.” Levi replied as he shifted in his chair. “I’m sorry.”

“I knew there was a possibility that I wouldn’t survive that final charge, Levi. I was willing to accept my fate.” Erwin admitted. “I abandoned my dreams in favor of saving humanity, I had no regrets and neither should you.”

Levi’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the desk tightly in an effort to keep his emotions in check. “You did. And what did you get in return? I failed to kill the Beast Titan and then I let you die.” Levi replied, voice wavering slightly. “I regretted it, Erwin. I couldn’t even stick to my own god damned words.”

Erwin felt his heart clench at the smaller man’s confession. “You didn’t let me die, Levi, you gave me freedom. I can never thank you enough for that.” Erwin reached out and laid his hand on top of Levi’s. He felt the hand try to pull back but Erwin tightened his grip instead.

“I know, that was the last fucking thing you said to me.” Levi cringed as the words _‘Thank you, Levi’_ echoed inside of his head.

“But you kept the promise you made on that rooftop.” Erwin gently brought his hand forward and grasped the edge of Levi’s cape, then gestured at the winged emblem. “You were always mine until the very end and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m so proud of you.” Erwin said softly.

Levi raised his head to look up at Erwin, tears trapped between thick lashes. “I was never truly yours, Erwin.” He murmured. “Not in the way I had wanted to be.”

Sapphire hues widened in recognition at the meaning of Levi’s words. He smiled sadly back at his Captain. “I need to apologize to you, Levi. I was not completely honest with you when we last saw each other.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Erwin?,” Levi asked. He always wondered what Erwin had been thinking about before he croaked out his final words to him. Although he was eager to know the answer, it frightened him at the same time.

He knew that Erwin referred to their last moments in Shiganshina, even though the last time Levi had truly seen Erwin had been when he placed a chaste kiss upon the rock that marked his grave after having given him a proper burial.

“You saved me in more ways than one on that day and I’ve waited so long to say the words that I’ve kept inside all this time.”

Levi furrowed his brows in confusion. “You already thanked me, Erwin.”

Erwin shook his head. “I have a lot I need to say, so please bear with me for a few moments.” Erwin looked to Levi, who nodded in agreement.

“When I took the position of Commander, I was naive. I believed I could make a difference with the right strategies and research.” Erwin paused for a moment and then continued. “I was wrong. All I had to show for it were the corpses of those who chose to follow me.”

“When I was on that roof with you and saw that syringe in your hand, I felt fear for the first time in years.” Erwin paused for a moment to gather his thoughts before he continued.

“I was afraid that I would live long enough to send you to your death as well, unable to bring you back. Yet you saved me from that fate, you gave me the mercy I didn’t deserve. When I looked into your eyes for the last time I knew.”

“Knew what?” Levi asked softly.

“I knew that you made your choice out of love, not selfishness. I know, because I felt the same.” Erwin intertwined Levi’s fingers with his own. “‘Thank you’ seemed like less of a burden than ‘I love you.’”

“So, that’s why you were waiting for me?” Levi asked as he stared down at their joined hands.

Erwin tilted Levi’s chin up with his free hand. “I’m sorry I never had the chance to tell you how I felt when we were still alive. Humanity needed you more so I knew I had to wait. The hardest choice I ever had to make was letting you go, I promised myself that if you returned to me, I would tell you the truth. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I never thought I would hear you say those words, I didn’t even know if I’d ever see you again.” Levi admitted.

“There’s an old saying that goes, ‘If you love someone, set them free, if they return to you, it was meant to be.’ “  
Erwin smiled.

“Of course, I would come back to you, I never belonged anywhere else except by your side.” Levi blinked back tears. “It just took me a while to get back there.”

“I-I don’t know what to say, Levi.” Erwin stammered.

“There’s something I’ve wanted to give you but I’ve never had the chance.” Levi stated as he tried to remain calm.

“What is it?” Erwin asked.

Levi untangled his hand and rose from his seat to move to the other side of the desk. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Erwin’s gently. Blue eyes widened in surprise for a moment and then a large hand gently cradled the back of Levi’s head as Erwin returned the kiss.

As Erwin held Levi in his arms he felt all his past worries slip away. He no longer cared about unfulfilled dreams or titans. Now that Levi had returned, nothing else mattered. He could finally move on.

After they finally separated, Erwin looked up at Levi and smiled. “Welcome back, Levi, I love you.”

“I love you too, Erwin.” He replied with a smile. The first one he’d had in years.  
He looked towards the door. “Are you ready to go?”

Erwin nodded and stood up, grasping Levi’s hand. “Now that you’re here, I’m ready for anything.” He said as he opened the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for Reading! I would also like to give a HUGE thanks and a hug to Zed for being supportive of me and this fic. Thank you for encouraging me and not letting me give up. I don’t know what I’d do without you :)


End file.
